The choir director had to leave liturgy early. The other choir director was sick. I can read music, but I had no implement with which to actually obtain a pitch. Out of the 5 people singing (or not), only 2 of us could read music. None of us had rehearsed. Someone behind me was pulling a Wigam (see episode of the Simpsons in which Chief Wigam explains that he's been making the police dogs extra angry by singing off key "ma mi ma moe, ma moe ma me").
The melody was in the alto line. I had no alto. I foolishly opted to sing alto, thus confusing everyone around me - 4 basses and a substitute alto who didn't know the music. I think we came close to producing something resembling a chord about half way through the Glory/Both Now of the Great Blessing of the Waters. The most musical moment of my brief tenure - my 2 year old knocked something (probably Holy and Expensive) off the wall, which made a loud crashing sound.
I need to figure out what note the dial tone on my phone is.